


Sweet Nights

by mcmachine



Series: Meant To Be [3]
Category: Sweet Nights
Genre: F/M, Fluffy, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-13
Updated: 2018-04-13
Packaged: 2019-04-22 05:10:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14301498
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcmachine/pseuds/mcmachine
Summary: Based during April's pregnancy with Harriet, and a moment that we should have seen.





	Sweet Nights

**_ APRIL _ **

"What are you doing, mister?" I murmured, shifting my hips slightly to turn toward him.

His hand was stretched across the swell of my stomach where our daughter was nestled inside, rubbing my skin gently. My top had just ridden up above my belly button. For the moment, my skin was nice and soft. I'd spread cocoa butter over it early to try and prevent from getting any further stretch marks and he'd helped a little bit before snuggling down into bed with me. Even if my body was exhausted from carrying another human being around all day, my mind was still wide awake.

"Just admiring my ridiculously beautiful wife," Jackson said sweetly, pressing a kiss just behind my ear. "My beautiful, sexy, pregnant wife…" he continued, placing a few more kisses near my jaw. I couldn't help but let out a content sigh. He knew all of my weak spots and that just happened to be one of them.

"Your super fat, super pregnant wife." I corrected him with a loud groan, pushing away the hand resting on my stomach.

"You are not fat," he disagreed without any moment of hesitation. "You are growing a beautiful, strong, healthy little baby. Our beautiful, strong, healthy baby. They just happen to take up a lot of space because they've got her daddy's big head and their mommy's big brain." He ran his hand back up my thigh and onto my stomach.

Almost on cue, the baby housed inside of my kicks right into Jackson's hand. I know that he can't feel it from the outside from his own response to it, rubbing a little more firmly against my pale skin and trying to spur another bout of movement from our baby. After Samuel, every chance that he got to feel this baby kick was amazing. He always had his hands on me these days, and it wasn't always in the same sexual way that it had been before the pregnancy.

I knew that some women said that sex during pregnancy was some of the best, while others said that it was the absolute worse. Truthfully, I'd lost some of my interest. The first trimester I had been too worn down to even think about it. We'd done it here and there, him mostly putting in the effort. But the bigger that I got, the less secure I felt about it.

"You're just happy because my boobs are finally a decently large size," I grumbled.

"Are you expecting me to disagree?" Jackson retorted without missing a beat. Immediately, I rolled over just enough to slap his chest. "April, baby, I'm going to love your breasts no matter what size they are. Because they're yours." His hand slipped up, taking one inside of his hand and massaging it gently. Without a bra on, I'm sure he can feel my nipple harden instantly. I'm sensitive as ever there. I think that was something that he had already figured out, too.

"Nuh-uh," I disagreed and wrapped my hands around his wrist. "Nope. No sex. I just wanna cuddle you and nothing else." I let him know.

Respectfully, his hand drifted back down to the swell of my stomach and he pulled him back against me a little more firmly. He did place another sweet kiss on my neck, his nose nuzzling over the same spot moments later. I can feel the breath that he let out warming my skin.

"You know that you're the most beautiful woman in the world, right?" Jackson questioned affectionately, placing a few more kisses on my neck and shoulder. It's all too comfortable to be curled up in his arms when he's doing this to me.

I groaned loudly and gave a shake of my head to disagree.

"You are, April. I'm serious. Look at me."

Going with his words, I noisily turn over onto my other side so that I'm facing him. The large swell of my stomach rested between the two of us, pressed up against his considerably more firm front side. Even in the dark of the bedroom, he's still stunning. Sharp angles, eyes that still manage to pop out despite the darkness. I don't need my contacts in to see him for just how beautiful he is, though. And I know that he's trying to turn that conversation back around on me.

Of course, it's a lot easier to say and nod at than actually believe. I don't want to lie to him. I'd always had problems with my own image growing up, even if the weight had fortunately never been one thing on the list. So it was a little hard to have that be taken away from me. Sure, it's a good reason. I'm growing a healthy baby. Our healthy baby. But there are one or two voices in my head that just don't like to listen and recognize that fact for how important it is.

"I know that you're serious," I commented, taking one of his hands. "You tell me about the last time that you gained thirty pounds and were super happy about it." I challenged with a raise of my eyebrows.

"Never." He answered. "But I have also never been pregnant, in case you've forgotten."

"Maybe I should make you wear one of those pregnancy bellies and stuff like they do in the video. Show you how hard and annoying it can be. I'd definitely make you operate with one of those on." I suggested, a laugh slipping through my lips and unable to help the fact that I'm suddenly beaming up at him.

"Trust me, I do not doubt that it is hard." Jackson grinned at me, reaching up and booming my nose gently. "But you like a challenge, don't you? You're still the most competitive person that I've ever met."

I rolled my eyes. "Competitions have prizes." I pointed out.

"So does pregnancy," he said without hesitation. "In case you've forgotten what this whole deal is about, we are going to get a pretty awesome baby at the end of all of this." He reminded me with a raise of his eyebrows. I haven't forgotten, far from it. I was all too excited about the end of this pregnancy, about the fact that we were finally going to get to parent and raise a baby. That this one wouldn't end with a coffin so small that no person should have ever had to purchase one.

Thinking about Samuel only sends me spiraling in a direction and I drop my gaze away from his, chewing on my lower lip momentarily. My hand moved to my stomach, taking a deep breath and finding comfort in the movements of the baby inside of me. They were healthy. They moved. This wasn't a repeat of the past.

But even as I tried to reassure myself this was the present and not the past, Jackson can see it on my face.

"You're thinking of him," he said quietly, his hand coming up to cup my cheeks.

"It's hard not to," I admitted with a shrug of one shoulder. "I mean, I always thought about him every day but now that I'm pregnant… I guess it just brought everything back up again. That he should be here and excited to be a big brother. That we should be stressed about putting him in daycare and how he's going to adjust to having another baby in the house but instead… it's like we're first time parents. But saying that, labeling myself as a new mom… it doesn't feel right." I admitted, rambling on a little more than what I had intended in the first place.

"That's because we're not first-time parents. We've always been parents, since the day that you told me that you were pregnant, baby. And we're always going to be parents." Jackson soothed gently, shifting to press a kiss to my lips. "You've been an amazing mom for two years now. And you're going to be an amazing mom to this baby, too. I know that."

I smiled softly at him, bringing my gaze back up to his. "Do you know what they call a child after a lost baby?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, what?"

"A rainbow baby," I answered, taking a deep breath and then releasing it. "You know, you're supposed to conjure hope and appreciate the rainbow because of the storm that came before it." I elaborated.

"That makes sense," Jackson gave a small nod of his head. "I know that this isn't going to be easy but… I think that we're going to do this, and we're going to do it well. We've got this. And we probably will appreciate this baby even more because we know just how valuable they're going to be in our life. There's nothing wrong with that. I mean, you wouldn't think negatively of anyone else in our situation, right? So why do you do it about yourself?"

It's a fair question. I don't really know how to give him the answer, either. I'm always harder on myself than I am on other people. I put high expectations on my shoulders and I had to live up to them, for everyone else and for myself. I don't know how to stop myself.

"You need to be kinder to yourself," he reminded me. "I don't want anyone to be hard on the woman that I love, alright? And that includes you."

"That doesn't count," I shook my head.

"Oh, yes it most certainly does." He didn't miss a beat before disagreeing with me. "It absolutely counts. More than others, I think. You deserve to love yourself and see yourself in the same way that I do, baby. And that does not include being hard on yourself."

I fall quiet for a moment, chewing on my lower lip. Maybe it's the hormones that were making me a little more susceptible to the criticisms that I had for myself lately, and a little less willing to listen to him. But… maybe I didn't have to ruin this moment for us completely.

"Tell me more."

"Okay." Jackson agreed. "You are one of the most amazingly strong women that I've ever known, April. You've gone through one of the most horrific things that a person can go through, and on the other side of it… you're kind, beautiful, on the inside and the outside. You didn't let it turn you hard or bitter. Do you know how amazing it is that you are able to do that? The special type of kindness that you have… it's a rare commodity. I'm a better person because of the fact that I know you, April, and because I've had the rare chance to love you and to marry you. You've made me stronger. You've made me kinder. You're exceptional in every way possible. You know what's important in life, and you practice what you preach in every way possible."

Before I could help myself, there are tears in my eyes with the words that come flooding from his mouth. I sniffle and bring up my hand, wiping away the moisture that had formed under my eyes. I could curse hormones and blame them for it, but this time, it has nothing to do with the excess of them in my bloodstream.

He shifted down some so that his head was level with my stomach, and placing a kiss just above my belly button. "And I know that because of the amazing woman that you are, this baby, this one right here? They are going to have an amazing life because they have an amazing, incredibly strong mother. Just like the few minutes that Samuel had, he was so lucky, because he had you as his mom, baby. Because he had a mom who was willing to make the most difficult decision of her life to do the right thing for her child, no matter what it did to her."

The words break me down completely.

Tears slip from my eyelids and I cover my mouth with my hand to try and quiet the sob that spilled past my lips, but there's no point in even trying. Jackson slipped his arm around my frame and held me right up against him, belly squished a bit awkwardly between the two of us. I nuzzled my head beneath his chin, finding a home there as it rested on top of me. He's my home. He always has been.

"Thank you," I finally whisper after a few tearful moments, centering myself just enough that I'm able to find my voice once again. "Thank you. Thank you." All I can do is repeat the words, unable to find anything else in me.

"I love you so much, April," he reminded me as he soothed his hand up and down along my spine.

"I love you too," I echoed the sentiment without any hesitation, my heart completely full. I'd be so worried about all of this. That the two of us weren't going to make it after I went to Jordan the first time and the near ultimatum that he had delivered when I'd talked about not going the second time – but instead, I had stayed and we'd been able to figure it out together. Maybe the timetable between us sorting out where we had stood was accelerated somewhat when we found out that we were expecting another child together, but it didn't seem to make a difference. We were still figuring it out.

Jackson gave me another firm squeeze, pulling back just enough that he can press a sweet kiss against my forehead and then drop another one down on my lips, capturing my bottom one between both of his.

I returned the kiss eagerly, a little more needy than what I had been before. My hand came up to cup his face, feeling the scruff against his jaw, then running my hand over the back of his head. His curls were beginning to grow out again, enough that I can really touch them and scratch my nails through them, and I love it. He's sexier than he ever has been right now.

He said the same thing about me though, and looking at him right now, after everything that he had just said, I can begin to find it in myself to try and believe him. Or at least, I can start to try.

"You're going to be such a great dad, Jackson," I murmured affectionately. It's not something entirely brought on by the little speech that he had just given me, even if it was a momentary source of inspiration. It was something that I had known since Samuel. "You are. I had great parents, no matter what I might occasionally complain about the two of them. But you've already mastered one of the things that the two of them never could, no matter how amazing the two of them were." I complimented, a smile softening my cheeks.

"What's that?" He asked with a raise of his brows.

"You already know how to make a woman feel better about herself, without just making it all about her body," I answered him sincerely, taking one of his hands and interlacing our fingers together. I bring his hand up to my mouth and kiss each of his individual knuckles gently.

Jackson beamed down at me. "And how are you so sure that it's a baby girl, huh?"

I gave an easy shrug of my shoulders. "Mother's intuition."

He pulled my hand up to his own mouth and placed a few kisses against my knuckles to return the affection before beginning to kiss the pulse point on the inside of my wrist. I smile wide, teeth still digging into my lower lip. He really did have a magical way of knowing the exact right thing to say to me. His intuition was certainly just as good as mine, if not better.

"I'll be more than happy with a little girl if she's anything like you." Jackson complimented. "Now roll back over, baby. I'm gonna spoon you so good."

"You are so dorky." I grinned as the words leave my mouth but listen to what he's saying, taking the effort to roll back over to my left side. Supposedly, that was the better side to sleep on for the baby, so spooning and facing the direction had become the normal sleep position for the two of us since I had started to show. Of course, we rarely woke in the same position. I'd been a little more restless during the night, but it's impossible to not fall asleep feeling safe and loved when he curled up around me like this.

We fall quiet for a moment as Jackson adjusted to press up against my backside, and I feel him nuzzle his nose against the back of my neck and breathe in the scent of my shampoo. No kiss this time, but just as intimate all the same.

"I love you," I reminded him quietly as our bedroom fell quiet.

"I love you too, baby."


End file.
